Life Explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’

The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give
you a twenty-year life span.’

The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like
the Dog did?’

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s
family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’

The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you
twenty years.’

But man said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty,the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’

‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it.’

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Visiting the past

The title sounds cooler than it really is. I was just reading some of my old blog posts. I had two blogs before this, but I ditched them for no particular reason...

*no longer available*

For the record, I had no idea what ecstacy meant when I created the title.

Lavender Slices

Ingredients:

Coconut Oil

Palm Oil

Olive Oil

Canola Oil

Vegetable Oil

Shea Butter

Castor Oil

Palm Kernel Oil

Pearl Powder

Scent:

English Rose FO

Romance FO

Lavender FO

Pachulli FO

Pearl powder was used for cosmetics over 2000 years ago, and was considered a luxury only the wealthy could afford. It’s variety of proteins and minerals are shown to be helpful for skin irritations and acne.

Kitties

Using Corel Paint I drew a few characters from my fanfiction story. This is Wood.And this is Zael. :D

EPIC FAIL dango

In japanese class, we have to sing this song about dango. It sounded good, so I attempted to make some with my fail cooking skills.

Big mistake.

I didn't have skewers, so I just stuck some toothpicks in them. The brownish black stuff is supposed to be mitarashi sauce, but it tastes like poo.

Once more, proof at my incompetancy in the kitchen...

Bieber Fail

What goes baby, baby, bonk?

Justin Bieber!

Maze of School

Click on image for better view. ;)

In one ear, out the other

Why do you flee, knowledge?
I need your aid for the exams to come!

I have a dream...

One day I will be skinny.

Hopefully.

*picks up microphone* Ahemhem.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though I face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men should be skinny."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the fat people will one day become skinny and sit down at the table of skinnyhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of obesity, sweltering with the heat of overeating, will be transformed into an oasis of skinniness and low blood sugar.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will be fat no longer.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its fat people, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "obesity" and "fatness" -- one day right there in Alabama little fat boys and little fat girls will be able to become skinny once more!

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made skinny, the fat places will be made slender, and the overeating places will be made a diet; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall become skinny."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

I have a dream!

Thank yew, thank yew.

What ifs...

What if life were just an illusion, and what I see and do aren't really there? What if the keyboard I'm typing on, the words that are appearing on the screen aren't there? What if what I'm doing isn't getting anywhere?

What if life were just a test, and everyone around me are pretending to be friends when I'm merely a test subject? What if everybody is in on something I'm not?

What if life were just a fake, and I'm not really here? What if I don't matter?

Well, what I'm doing isn't getting anywhere, because nothing lasts forever. Time will eventually erode all accomplishments, no matter how great.

Well, everyone is in on something I'm not, because I'm not them, and I will never be. It's impossible to know if someone is lying or not about something inside their head, because it's something only visible to them.

Well, I don't matter. I may be the world to me, but I'm nobody to the world.

What if, what if, what if...

Charcoal Self Portrait

One of my first attempts at charcoal. It's different than pencil sketches, because it requires more control. Charcoal draws really dark, so it's more difficult to keep consistent or not. The thickness matters too, so if you turn your pencil the right way, you get a nice looking line.

Read me not

Relationships is easily one of the most important components of your life. Of course, you can live the rest of your life as a simplistic hermit, but by then you wouldn't be sane, neh? To build relationships you must a. understand yourself and b. understand others. You and them. Hopefully the former will be easier, because the latter is something I've been trying to master for years.

I try to read people, every twitch, every flicker of eyes. But, as I contemplate each movement, they change, and my sluggish mind is unable to keep up. I'd rather sit back and admire an unmoving painting than try and keep up with the stamina of change of human emotions, which is apparently inexhaustable. On the other hand, my poor brain will blow a fuse trying to chase the signs appearing and disappearing like shooting stars.

Of course, some people are naturals. I recently read part of a Sherlock Holmes story, where said detective determined a lady's path of the last two hours in a moment. I am in awe of his brilliant--if fiction--prowress. Perhaps the unrealness of it gives me comfort; no one can be that smart. Also, in the TV show, House M.D., the main character, House, has an uncanny ability to read people's illnesses and their life. By looking at a seemingly healthy man, he can deduce that he has diabetes, future heart problems and marriage issues at home. How I wish I can possess such cunning!

But, I don't. It's not set in stone though--perhaps if I try hard enough, or if lightning strikes me, fries my brain and rewires something, turning me into a genius instead of a drooling vegetable.

Anything is possible...

In the Classroom

In the classroom...Someone is always talking.
Someone is always texting.
Someone is always bored.
Someone is always listening.

Who are you?